Family Ties 1
It was a throwback to two generations ago – our grandparents were second cousins and now my youngest brother was marrying his second cousin who is also the youngest in her family. Two families already bonded by blood now bound by the marriage of the youngest son to the youngest daughter, both sharing the same profession. It wasn’t an arranged marriage. It had been a tempestuous courtship and now it was looking to be the family wedding of the year.
My mother supervised all preparations for the house, reception, guest gifts, bridal chamber, made major decisions regarding wedding arrangements and personally sent out 300 invitation cards (can’t trust the postal service). Sister No 3 a.k.a Major Domo took charge of decoration for the nine trays of gifts or hantaran for the bride and the design and look of the bridal chamber, invitation cards and envelopes. Brother No 2 liased with the workmen for the house renovation, and assisted with the preparations for the wedding feast and handed out 50 invitation cards. Sister no 1 and Brother No 1 took charge of clearing the house, preparing the bridal chamber and helped both the Major Domo and the CEO (my mother) with the overall preparations. Sister no 2 (that’s me) was in charge of the cake to be given as a hantaran and handled its transportation by road from KL to KB ( we drove back with the cake). I tried not to feel too guilty as I had sent my sons earlier as cheap labour to help with the painting, fetching and carrying, three weeks earlier. My contribution later was mainly tying up any loose ends that I could spot. It was a good thing my mum and other siblings plus numerous aunts, uncles and cousins were so efficient as they left very few for me to find.
The wedding would stretch over four days – Day 1- the akad nikah (solemnisation of the marriage), Day 2 - Family reception on Bride’s side, Day 3 - Reception for friends also on the Bride’s side and Day 4 - Reception on the Groom’s side (our event). The groom’s side basically had to make sure the gifts were ready for Day 1 and the house was ready for Day 4. In between all we had to do (seemingly) was make ourselves and the gifts, look pretty! The wedding photographer was appointed through nepotism - a cousin-in-law who has been a part of the family for a mere 10 months. Discreet and perceptive, he captured images of family members and events; candid, touching and thoroughly professional.
The day of the akad nikah ceremony arrived faster than expected and we rushed to get ready only to discover the groom struggling with his sampin, surrounded by five of his siblings. After organising the trays of gifts in order of importance and the women of the family to carry the trays (only those in yellow), we were finally ready to go once the groom’s sampin was satisfactorily tied. The bride’s home was 10 minutes away but we were still late by eight minutes which is early by normal wedding standards. However, the imam was already in attendance when we arrived.
The ceremony was held on the sprawling grounds of the bride’s home where the bridal dais , a small guesthouse and white, canopied tents for guests were part of a garden party theme wedding. The trays of gifts were handed over by the ladies in yellow to the men in blue from the bride’s family and arranged on the beautifully decorated bridal dais.
The groom sat down surrounded by the menfolk from both sides and the ceremony began immediately without the normal rehearsal with the imam. The already flustered groom paused a little too long to the dissatisfaction of one witness and had to repeat the akad statement or vow. With the completion of the sermon and the prayer, the akad nikah was over and my youngest brother was a married man. The bride was sequestered in the guesthouse and her signature duly sought by the imam for the marriage certificate. After shaking hands with his new father-in-law and uncles, the groom turned to the most important woman in his life; his mother for her blessing.
The rest of the morning passed in a blur of photographs with members of the family on both sides. My eldest son who was suddenly designated as best man, became a third wheel and managed to squeeze into some photographs. As it meant being around his new aunt who was looking radiant, duty became a pleasure indeed.
Time to get out the lace dresses in shades of pink for the bersanding ceremony or the family reception on the bride’s side! The glittering bridal dais and the grounds transformed by the fairylights, impressed guests who came from near and far. The merenjis ceremony where guests of honour sprinkle the newlyweds with rosewater and bunga rampai to signify their blessing for the union was followed by the cake cutting event. The groom struggled to saw through the heavily iced cake only to sigh with relief when the photographer signaled for him to feed the bride with whatever crumbs he managed to pinch through the icing.
We came in force, whole families to celebrate the union; parents and children of all ages for everyone knew that this was the youngest daughter and nothing would be spared to make this a very special event. Plus everyone knew that the bride’s mother would definitely serve the scrumptious fruit tarts that guests would sneak into napkins as extra dessert. Ladies in pink lace of all shades and men in maroon or
shades of red
As the formal festivities ended and the bride and groom left the dais to say goodbye to the guests, our family took the opportunity to take family photographs. There were so many of us, it had to be taken by category , gender and age restrictions! Siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews posed boisterously until someone remembered the newlyweds should actually be in the photos. A son-in-law was despatched to fetch them and they smilingly posed with a myriad number of relatives until it became too late to continue. We left in high spirits, laughing at those who smuggled out the fruit tarts and at ourselves for taking over the grounds and bridal dais that night.
In fact, upon arrival at home, family photographs continued to be taken to capture everyone dressed in their best. Lipstick and makeup assiduously reapplied, we took family photos well into the night. We still had one more day befor D-Day.
My mother supervised all preparations for the house, reception, guest gifts, bridal chamber, made major decisions regarding wedding arrangements and personally sent out 300 invitation cards (can’t trust the postal service). Sister No 3 a.k.a Major Domo took charge of decoration for the nine trays of gifts or hantaran for the bride and the design and look of the bridal chamber, invitation cards and envelopes. Brother No 2 liased with the workmen for the house renovation, and assisted with the preparations for the wedding feast and handed out 50 invitation cards. Sister no 1 and Brother No 1 took charge of clearing the house, preparing the bridal chamber and helped both the Major Domo and the CEO (my mother) with the overall preparations. Sister no 2 (that’s me) was in charge of the cake to be given as a hantaran and handled its transportation by road from KL to KB ( we drove back with the cake). I tried not to feel too guilty as I had sent my sons earlier as cheap labour to help with the painting, fetching and carrying, three weeks earlier. My contribution later was mainly tying up any loose ends that I could spot. It was a good thing my mum and other siblings plus numerous aunts, uncles and cousins were so efficient as they left very few for me to find.
The wedding would stretch over four days – Day 1- the akad nikah (solemnisation of the marriage), Day 2 - Family reception on Bride’s side, Day 3 - Reception for friends also on the Bride’s side and Day 4 - Reception on the Groom’s side (our event). The groom’s side basically had to make sure the gifts were ready for Day 1 and the house was ready for Day 4. In between all we had to do (seemingly) was make ourselves and the gifts, look pretty! The wedding photographer was appointed through nepotism - a cousin-in-law who has been a part of the family for a mere 10 months. Discreet and perceptive, he captured images of family members and events; candid, touching and thoroughly professional.
The day of the akad nikah ceremony arrived faster than expected and we rushed to get ready only to discover the groom struggling with his sampin, surrounded by five of his siblings. After organising the trays of gifts in order of importance and the women of the family to carry the trays (only those in yellow), we were finally ready to go once the groom’s sampin was satisfactorily tied. The bride’s home was 10 minutes away but we were still late by eight minutes which is early by normal wedding standards. However, the imam was already in attendance when we arrived.
The ceremony was held on the sprawling grounds of the bride’s home where the bridal dais , a small guesthouse and white, canopied tents for guests were part of a garden party theme wedding. The trays of gifts were handed over by the ladies in yellow to the men in blue from the bride’s family and arranged on the beautifully decorated bridal dais.
The groom sat down surrounded by the menfolk from both sides and the ceremony began immediately without the normal rehearsal with the imam. The already flustered groom paused a little too long to the dissatisfaction of one witness and had to repeat the akad statement or vow. With the completion of the sermon and the prayer, the akad nikah was over and my youngest brother was a married man. The bride was sequestered in the guesthouse and her signature duly sought by the imam for the marriage certificate. After shaking hands with his new father-in-law and uncles, the groom turned to the most important woman in his life; his mother for her blessing.
The rest of the morning passed in a blur of photographs with members of the family on both sides. My eldest son who was suddenly designated as best man, became a third wheel and managed to squeeze into some photographs. As it meant being around his new aunt who was looking radiant, duty became a pleasure indeed.
Time to get out the lace dresses in shades of pink for the bersanding ceremony or the family reception on the bride’s side! The glittering bridal dais and the grounds transformed by the fairylights, impressed guests who came from near and far. The merenjis ceremony where guests of honour sprinkle the newlyweds with rosewater and bunga rampai to signify their blessing for the union was followed by the cake cutting event. The groom struggled to saw through the heavily iced cake only to sigh with relief when the photographer signaled for him to feed the bride with whatever crumbs he managed to pinch through the icing.
We came in force, whole families to celebrate the union; parents and children of all ages for everyone knew that this was the youngest daughter and nothing would be spared to make this a very special event. Plus everyone knew that the bride’s mother would definitely serve the scrumptious fruit tarts that guests would sneak into napkins as extra dessert. Ladies in pink lace of all shades and men in maroon or
shades of red
As the formal festivities ended and the bride and groom left the dais to say goodbye to the guests, our family took the opportunity to take family photographs. There were so many of us, it had to be taken by category , gender and age restrictions! Siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews posed boisterously until someone remembered the newlyweds should actually be in the photos. A son-in-law was despatched to fetch them and they smilingly posed with a myriad number of relatives until it became too late to continue. We left in high spirits, laughing at those who smuggled out the fruit tarts and at ourselves for taking over the grounds and bridal dais that night.
In fact, upon arrival at home, family photographs continued to be taken to capture everyone dressed in their best. Lipstick and makeup assiduously reapplied, we took family photos well into the night. We still had one more day befor D-Day.
posted by pearlyrose @ 11:41 AM
1 Comments:
At 9:42 AM,
nurymin said…
very well done mother! i love every part of it..and i totally agree with the statement that this was the wedding of the year!
cant wait for the continuation of D-Day! (i know i have read the whole thing but i like to read it over n over again because it brings back memories..good memories.) u truly know how to capture the life of the wedding with your words!
after all, u r my mummy! hehehe. luv u!
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