Fathers and Daughters

Fathers and Daughters


I adored my father and he loved me unconditionally. His approval and
encouragement gave me confidence to speak my mind, to believe in
myself and and my abilities. I thought he would love me enough to
accept the man I chose for a husband and he did against his better
judgement. My husband was good to me and my family throughout the
marriage when my father was alive. When my father passed away (I was
married for 14 years then), problems emerged consistently that ended in
breakup of our 23 yr marriage.

I have a 19 year old daughter who saw what I went through trying to
keep the marriage going for as long as I did. As the only daughter,
she adored her father and refused to believe at first that her father
was capable of hurting me and the family the way he did - she was so
young then just 10. Once she grew up and saw him for what he was doing
to me and the family, she became my strength and supported me
throughout the separation and divorce. She didn't become disillusioned
with men, instead fell in love three years ago and is still in love
with a nice boy who is the opposite of her father. She did well in
school and is doing well in college.

I sometimes wonder what I did right in my life to deserve a daughter
like her. She treats her father with civility and equanimity so that
he will continue to take responsibility for her siblings and her. She
treats me with love and respect and is as protective of me as I am of
her. For one so young, she has managed to find that balance between
love and need for approval in the relationship she has with her father
- she loves him but does not need his approval for her own
self-belief.


We live and learn from each other…